Narrative writing revision

This paper is adapted from part one cadaverization of《聊斋志异》.
This is original text:https://liaozhai.5000yan.com/19939.html

The point of view of the story:The third person point of view
The point will I used in the story.: First person point of view

The scrip

My fellow cart drivers and I, all native to the same village, earned our livelihood by transporting commodities between towns. In a village five or six miles from the county town, there lived an old man surnamed Cai who ran an inn on our usual route. One evening, four of us cart drivers sought shelter at his inn, but it was fully booked. Exhausted, we begged him to make room for us. Our leader said, "We only need a place to shelter from the wind and rain. We can't be picky." After some hesitation, the old man agreed. At that time, his daughter-in-law had just passed away, and her body was laid out in a room. His son had gone out to buy wood for her coffin and hadn't returned yet. Thinking that the room where the funeral was held was silent, the old man led four exhausted cart drivers through the streets to there.

Inside the room, a dim oil lamp was burning on a wooden table. Behind the table was a drapery hanging over the bed, and a paper quilt covered the deceased. The bedroom, on the other side, had a large bunk bed. We were so tired that we fell asleep soon after lying down, snoring loudly. Only I, with a heavy heart, lay half-asleep, my consciousness wavering between wakefulness and sleep. Suddenly, I heard a scratching sound coming from the bed. Squinting my eyes, I saw the room clearly illuminated by the lamp's light: the corpse had risen from the bed, unwrapped the paper quilt, and slowly walked into the bedroom. Her face was an unnatural pale yellow, and a piece of raw silk was tied around her forehead. She approached the bed, bending over to blow on each of my three sleeping companions. Terrified that she might blow on me, I held my breath and quietly pulled the quilt over my head. The corpse indeed came over to me and blew on me as she had done to the others. A cold breath hit my cheek, and it felt like my soul was leaving my body. I sensed the corpse leave the bedroom, and soon after, I heard the sound of the paper quilt being moved. Peeking out, I saw the corpse lying stiffly as before. The stagnant air in the mortuary was so terrifying that I didn't dare make a sound. I secretly kicked my travel companions,but the cold touch of my fingertips told me they were hopeless . Unable to think of a solution, I decided to dress and flee. As I sat up to put on my clothes, the scratching sound started again. My heart almost leaped out of my chest, and I lay back down, burying my head in the quilt. I saw its legs through gap. the corpse blew on me several times before leaving. Soon after, the bed made a noise again, and I knew the corpse had lain back down. Immediately, I slowly reached out from under the quilt, found my pants, and quickly put them on, running out barefoot. The corpse rose from the drapery and seemed to chase me. As I ran out the door and looked back, the corpse stood motionless at the bedside, with moonlight streaming through the window and casting a shadow over its pale and Bloodless face.

A full moon hangs over the clear night sky, illuminating the darkness like daylight. The only sounds on the quiet village road were my shouts and the corpse's growls. I ran desperately, but not a single house in the usually lively village was lit. I intended to knock on the innkeeper's door, but feared being caught by the corpse if I slowed down. So, I ran toward the eastern suburbs of the city. There, I saw a temple, where the sound of a wooden fish being struck came from. I quickly knocked on the door. After the knocking, the temple fell silent, and I was greeted with two seconds of silence. I was almost crying. When I turned back, it was only a foot away from me. I was even more afraid and anxious. There was a white poplar tree outside the temple gate, its trunk four or five feet thick. I ran behind it to hide and observe the corpse movements. Whenever it lunged to the right, I dodged to the left, and when its claws reached for me from the left, I ran to the right. We were at a stalemate. It seemed to be tired too, finally stopping and standing there. I was also at my wits’end, sweating profusely, breathless, and with my heart pounding. Suddenly, the corpse lunged forward, stretching out both arms and reaching around the tree trunk. I fell to the ground in fright and lost consciousness.

When I woke up, several bald monks surrounded me, and it was already daylight. The monk who had been striking the wooden fish at night had been eavesdropping at the door. When he heard no more sounds outside, he opened the temple gate. Seeing me lying unconsciously on the ground, he lit a candle and found that although I appeared dead, there was still a faint warmth in my chest. So, the monks carried me into the temple, and it was only after a night that I regained consciousness.I told the timid monks I was chased by a corpse.They went out to inspect with suspicion, in the meantime it was already dawn.Soon after,a mook came back with pale face.I shuddered and walked out the door, seeing the corpse of the woman who had almost cornered me last night hugging the poplar tree, the nails of both hands dug tightly into the trunk.It looks like the last blow drained its power

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