As a kid, I always thought I would go away to college, imagining the posters I’d hang on the wall of my freshmen dorm. I even set the ending of my music video for my song “Love Story” at my fantasy imaginary college, where I meet a male model reading a book on the grass and with one single glance, we realize we had been in love in our past lives. Which is exactly what you guys all experienced at some point in the last 4 years, right?
小时候，我一直认为自己会到外地上大学，想象着我在大学新生宿舍墙上贴上海报。在《爱情故事》MV的结尾处，我甚至把我梦想中的大学生活拍了进去，在那里，我遇到了一位在草地上看书的男模特，只一眼，我们就意识到我们曾经相爱过。这正是你们在过去4年中经历过的某个时刻，对吗？
But I really can’t complain about not having a normal college experience to you because you went to NYU during a global pandemic, being essentially locked into your dorms or having to do classes over Zoom. Everyone in college during normal times stresses about test scores, but on top of that you also had to pass like a thousand covid tests. I imagine the idea of a normal college experience was all you wanted too. But in this case you and I both learned that you don’t always get all the things in the bag that you selected from the menu in the delivery service that is life. You get what you get. I will, however, give you some life hacks I wish I knew when I was starting out my dreams of a career, and navigating life, love, pressure, choices, shame, hope and friendship.
不过我不能向你们抱怨我没有体验过正常的大学生活。因为你们是在全球疫情暴发的时候来到纽约大学，要么基本在宿舍隔离，要么在Zoom上面上网课。在正常情况下，所有大学生都在为考试成绩焦虑，而你们却还要经历上千次的核酸检测。我觉得，你们也渴望能拥有正常的大学生活。但在这种情况下，你我都了解到，假如生活是个配送站，你挑选的福袋往往装的并不全是你想要的，拿到什么就是什么。不过，我会告诉你们一些生活小窍门，我希望自己当初在职业生涯刚开始的时候，在经历生活、爱情、压力、抉择、羞愧、希望和友谊的时候能够明白的小窍门。
The first of which is…life can be heavy, especially if you try to carry it all at once. Part of growing up and moving into new chapters of your life is about catch and release. What I mean by that is, knowing what things to keep, and what things to release. You can’t carry all things, all grudges, all updates on your ex, all enviable promotions your school bully got at the hedge fund his uncle started. Decide what is yours to hold and let the rest go. Oftentimes the good things in your life are lighter anyway, so there’s more room for them. One toxic relationship can outweigh so many wonderful, simple joys. You get to pick what your life has time and room for. Be discerning.
第一点，生活可能是沉重的，尤其是当你试图背负一切的时候。成长和迈向人生新篇章的过程中，有一部分是关于抓紧与放手。我的意思是，你要知道哪些东西需要留下，哪些东西需要放手。你不能背负一切、背负所有的怨恨前行，无论是你前任的最新消息还是欺负你的校霸在他叔叔创办的对冲基金公司得到令人羡慕的晋升，这些你都不能背负。决定好什么是你要保留的，其余的就随它去吧。生活中美好的事物常常比较轻松，所以可以把更多空间留给它们。一段糟糕的关系可能盖过许多美好、简单的快乐。你可以选择让哪些事情填充你人生所拥有的时间和空间。要懂得辨别。
Secondly, learn to live alongside cringe. No matter how hard you try to avoid being cringe, you will look back on your life and cringe retrospectively. Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime. Even the term ‘cringe’ might someday be deemed ‘cringe.’
第二，学会与尴尬共存。无论你多么努力地想避免尴尬，每当回看过往，往往会感到尴尬。尴尬在一生中都是无法避免的。甚至“尴尬”这个词在某天也有可能被当作一种尴尬。
I promise you, you’re probably doing or wearing something right now that you will look back on later and find revolting and hilarious. You can’t avoid it, so don’t try to. For example, I had a phase where, for the entirety of 2012, I dressed like a 1950s housewife. But you know what? I was having fun. Trends and phases are fun. Looking back and laughing is fun.
我敢肯定，你现在做的某件事情，或穿的某件衣服，等到以后回想起来，你会觉得反感和好笑。你没法避免，就不要试图去避免。举个例子，我有个阶段，在2012年一整年我都穿得像个上世纪50年代的家庭主妇。但你知道吗？我当时很开心。各个潮流和阶段都让人开心。回顾过往，笑一笑也让人开心。
And while we’re talking about things that make us squirm but really shouldn’t, I’d like to say that I’m a big advocate for not hiding your enthusiasm for things. It seems to me that there is a false stigma around eagerness in our culture of ‘unbothered ambivalence.’ This outlook perpetuates the idea that it’s not cool to ‘want it.’ That people who don’t try hard are fundamentally more chic than people who do. And I wouldn’t know because I have been a lot of things but I’ve never been an expert on ‘chic.’ But I’m the one who’s up here so you have to listen to me when I say this: Never be ashamed of trying. Effortlessness is a myth. The people who wanted it the least were the ones I wanted to date and be friends with in high school. The people who want it most are the people I now hire to work for my company.